Almost Like the First Time
by morganaDW
Summary: 1-shot. Recent events have Sam thinking about the past & he thinks of a special time between him & Dean; a time that Dean also happens to recall only too well and seeks to give to his brother again as things continue to heal between them. (Dean/Sam) *Wincest* SPOILERS to 10x05 Fan Fiction.


**Almost Like the First Time**

**Summary: **_1-shot. Recent events have Sam thinking about the past & he thinks of a special time between him & Dean; a time that Dean also happens to recall only too well and seeks to give to his brother again as things continue to heal between them. (Dean/Sam) SPOILERS to 10x05 Fan Fiction._

**Pairings: **_Dean/Sam_

**Warning: **_This gets warnings for language as well as explicit content given that this is Wincest. It shall also hopefully contain some schmoop and brother bonding._

**Tags: **_I don't really tag Wincest piece but it takes place after 10x05 Fan Fiction._

**Spoilers: **_Yes, there will be spoilers contained so be aware of that before reading._

**Disclaimer: **_I don't own anything._

**Author Note: **_Here is a Wincest styled piece set after the latest episode. It has two explicit scenes. Enjoy!_

**~SPN SPN SPN SPN~**

Some things were hard to forget even after a lifetime worth of crap and pain and the sight of his older brother bent over the hood working on the engine of the '67 Chevy Impala that had always been home to them while classic rock played from the speakers were definitely two things that Sam Winchester would remember until the day he finally drew his last breath.

They'd driven through the night once they left Flint, Michigan; only stopping to refuel the car and themselves at an all-night truck stop. Sam had slept most of the way even though he'd offered to spell Dean when he got tired but like so many other times it seemed like his older brother would rather let him sleep than give up the wheel of his baby.

Sam's lips curved in a smile as he wondered how Dean would feel about calling the Impala that now that he knew that's also what the fans of their lives, or their lives as written by Carver Edlund, also called it.

There was no denying that Sam had been as equally shocked and stunned when they'd walked in on a play basically about their lives. He wasn't quite as horrified as his brother had been but it still had been quite the shock to see that even after so long with Chuck's disappearance that people were still reading about them or…writing about them it seemed.

Sam had made a mental note to check his laptop the next time they stopped to see what new stories might be out there. He knew it bothered Dean…or some of them bothered Dean still but Sam thought his brother might just be bothered by the fact that other people might actually see past his hard as nails, no chick flick moments shell.

Lifting his eyes to stare out the windshield to see if he could see what Dean was doing, Sam's eyes flicked to the chunky looking prop that represented the amulet he'd once given his older brother one Christmas; a symbol still to him of their bond as brothers…a symbol that he often wondered if Dean thought about since dropping in a motel trash can during one of their darker times.

That play had succeeded in bringing up a lot of buried emotion in both of them but Sam kept his to himself since he wasn't still sure how Dean was doing with the whole Mark of Cain still on his arm and just recently being returned to life or being a demon. Sam was just glad to have his brother back with him and last night it had almost felt like it once had in the car between them.

Of course the bad thing about when things were calm was it allowed the hunter to think about other things, other times…both of which Sam had been steering clear of bringing up as well even though he was dying inside to know how Dean still felt after his multiple flings while running with the King of Hell.

From this vantage point, Sam was able to see the expert way Dean's hand turned the wrench as he tightened something under the hood; Sam knew that while he'd been taught to maintain the car and could do a lot that he'd never be the master mechanic as his older brother.

Dean could tell from a sound if something was wrong under the hood or if something was about to go wrong. It used to be like his brother was as attuned to the Impala as he was to Sam himself and Sam could recall those times vividly, especially now that some of the emotions between them had been unlocked again.

Waking up today to see that they were parked in a secluded, out of the way spot near a small lake with trees that still had some of the fall leaves on them made a hard lump form in Sam's throat because it was like a kick in the gut as something about that brought back another time when he'd been 17 and woke up to a similar scene. But this time he doubted if it would have the same end results given that had also been the first time that he and Dean had crossed that invisible line from pure brothers to something much deeper, much more complicated and something that they'd both been wanting since he turned 15.

**Flashback, Fall of 2000:**

"Hey! Wake your ass up!"

17 year old Sam Winchester pried one eye open with a groan of dismay. It felt like he'd just fallen to sleep even though the bright sun that blinded him told him he'd slept through the night. The off the beaten path spot he woke up in also told him they weren't in Kansas, literally, anymore.

"What?" he grumbled, rubbing his face with both hands to try to clear the grit from his eyes so he could try to find the voice of his older brother. "Where are we and what'd you wake me up for if you're just gonna work on the car?"

The whine was there and Sam wouldn't deny it. He was tired, he was hurting but refusing to show it to his anti-emotional brother who had once again taken their Dad's side in an argument last night so Sam was bitchy at being woken up so suddenly.

"I might need an extra pair of hands so that's you, Sammy," Dean came around from the trunk with some tools in one hand and a bottle of water in the other. "Stop sulking just because I think my car is better looking than you right now."

Sam shot the 21 year old cocky hunter a massive bitch face at that but stared at his hands rather than his brother; refusing to admit any jealousy over a car even though lately it seemed like he was almost competing with either the Impala or a damn hunt for any decent attention from Dean.

"You won't let me touch this car to drive it much less get near it with a tool," he shot back as he finally pushed his long legs out of the car to stretch; the chilly fall air burning his lungs as he took a deep breath. "Where are we anyway?" he asked, trying to recall where they were supposed to be going. "I thought we were supposed to be meeting Dad in the next town where he said he'd found another hunt."

"Yeah, we were and we will," Dean replied with a shrug, tossing his leather jacket into the front seat while rolling up his sleeves before eyeing the engine critically. "I heard a rattle this morning and found this spot so I could check it out. You get to bring me tools if I need something so you can learn how to take care of her."

"It's a car, Dean," Sam grumbled but sighed at the look that earned him. He did run his fingers over the roof of the shiny black car as if to offer a silent apology but he was annoyed and grumpy that morning.

To try to work it off some, the teenager decided to walk closer to the lake to clear his head. The fight last night hadn't been out of the usual. He and their Dad had been fighting more it seemed like since Sam turned 14 and since he hit 16 the fights were starting to escalate to the point where Dean would put himself between them to keep words from turning to something more physical.

Last night was just a continuation of so many other fights. Sam wanted to live his life. He wanted to go to college, to be normal which was the ultimate sin in John Winchester's mind as there was no normal. There was the 'family business' and that was all there was to it; no discussions, no compromises, no nothing and Sam needed to learn to shut up and be a good little solider.

Well those weren't his father's exact words but that was how Sam took it and it irked him so much that Dean didn't back him up even though he knew his brother knew how he felt in this.

Turning to look back, Sam felt another all too familiar feeling settle in his belly as he took in his brother's tall, lean body encased in denim and flannel bent over the engine with his legs spread wide, muscles in his arms showing as he worked on the car that had been his since he'd turned Sam's age and Sam swallowed.

Ever since Sam had been younger, 14 or 15 he couldn't decide when the feelings had really hit him, he'd known he felt more for his brother than he should or that was normal but in Sam's mind their lives weren't normal so why the hell should his feelings for Dean be normal. The issue was getting his brother to admit he might feel the same or be willing to break that last line to look at Sam more than his pain in the ass little brother.

There had been times the past two years that Sam thought he'd seen something there but then Dean would go hook up with some waitress at a diner or bar and once again Sam got lost in his inner thoughts of asking himself what the hell his brother saw in those women when it wasn't anything but a fast sex fix without any meaning.

Only once had Dean hinted that he felt or looked at Sam as more than his brother but his brother had been drunk and too hands on when John had told Sam to get his brother sobered up and on the road. Nothing had happened but enough light touches to make Sam take an ice cold shower once he'd gotten his brother into bed. The next morning had brought a hangover and Dean ignoring anything he might've said or did as him being drunk and Sam reminding him of some hot chick he'd met that week.

Now that he was 17 and more sure of who and what he wanted it was harder for Sam to ignore the subtle touches or looks he thought he saw from Dean but was never sure enough to act on it or push things to see if Dean would go to that next step. This was another reason Sam was trying so hard to get out. If he couldn't have what he thought he wanted then he needed to make a clean break to try to find a way to forget the lust and desire he thought he had even if it was one sided.

"Hey! Stop daydreaming and go get me that other metric wrench in the box in the trunk!" Dean's sudden sharp, annoyed voice snapped Sam back out of his daydream of feeling those long skilled fingers touching him like he often watched them touch others or even the damn Impala. "Sam!"

"Yeah, yeah, sorry," Sam muttered, cheeks reddening from being caught daydreaming and so glad his brother couldn't see his thoughts or else he might find himself in the lake for another reason than the one Sam was considering. "What size is it or where is it?" he asked, brain still a little foggy as he went to the open trunk to try to find the tool in question only to frown. "Dean? The toolbox isn't in here."

"Yeah, I know that but it got you back here," Dean's husky voice suddenly spoke from behind him making Sam jump not only by the unexpected voice but the sudden touch of hands settling on his hips. "Gonna tell me what you're really mad about?" he asked.

Sam hadn't been expecting this sudden move or how close Dean was standing or the warm breath on his ear when his brother spoke again so he was at a loss to what he should say compared to what he almost said. Deciding to play it safe he managed to shrug when he went totally still when he felt his brother's fingers tighten on his hips to keep him from moving. "Dean?"

"Okay, then I'll tell you something," Dean shifted so he was close enough to press against Sam's back, letting his knee slip between his legs and feeling his brother tense, heard his breath pick up. "I didn't back you up with Dad last night, I let him think I was agreeing with him because I knew it would've blown up into a full blown fight if I hadn't and I wanted you in the goddamn car on the road before he could think of a reason to delay that plan. Happier now?"

"Maybe," Sam hedged, still unsure to what Dean was doing given he knew his brother was totally sober unless he was sleeping and just dreaming this. "Umm, what's wrong with the Impala?" he decided to ask only to nearly swallow his tongue to keep in the sound that he almost made when he felt calloused fingers sliding around to hover over the snap of his jeans while other ones moved up the front of Sam's shirt in a way that was definitely not brotherly.

"Nothing that can't wait for her next oil change," Dean admitted easily, careful to watch Sam's face as he decided to see how far his little brother really was willing to take what he'd known for two years Sam wanted and what he'd been pushing away from for just as long. "But I needed a reasonable excuse to find a secluded spot to stop or else it would be messy to explain to Dad if we got arrested for indecent exposure alongside a major highway," he trailed his fingers up Sam's chest to feel the way his heart was beating even faster and he smiled. "Y'know those not so subtle hints you've been dropping that you think I've been ignoring since you were 14? Yeah, I haven't been ignoring them so much as trying to tell myself that I can't have what I want."

At 17, Sam's body was like an inferno of hormones and need and right then between the hot breath on his face from where Dean's mouth was so damn close and the touch to his chest, he was certain he might implode right there. Except he'd been the brunt of too many of Dean's jokes so he wasn't sure this wasn't another one. "W-what's that?" he tried to ask without sounding like an unsure teenager when faced with being so close to getting his heart's desire.

"You," Dean smiled slowly at the sound that got him and it also began to make him think this wasn't a mistake. "I know what you've been wanting, Sammy. I know you think I've been making fun of you or ignoring it but you've gotta understand that this is a huge step off a very steep cliff. If we take this step, there's no going back to how it was because once I do this, once you tell me that this is really want you want, that this isn't some way to rebel or…"

"No, God no," Sam's hand shot out to grab the one on his chest, trying to turn his face to look at his brother only to found deep green eyes watching him intently and he felt a hand squeeze his chest at that look because he'd never seen Dean look at anyone like he was looking at him right then. "I…I want you, Dean. I've only ever wanted you but I thought…you…umm…you never seemed to want or look at me like you did those girls in school or those waitresses so I thought…I thought…"

Dean turned him to face him, shutting the trunk so Sam could lean back against it as he stepped in closer, boxing his brother in with his legs and hands on it. "Yeah, because I knew if I had then this would've happened a long time ago because the night I came home drunk? The night I came so close to saying everything I really did feel for you? I got drunk because I was pissed off at Dad for letting you go out with that little redhead you went to school with and he was hoping you scored so maybe you'd stop being so moody," he smirked at the memory. "I had a serious problem with that little ditz being the one to show my brother anything in regards to sex so I went out and got drunk since it was better than my original plan."

"You…you had a plan?" Sam's breath was catching more as he leaned back on his elbows to gaze up at Dean, watching that slow sexy smile come as his eyes moved over Sam's body.

"Yeah," Dean leaned in closer to just tease his lips along his younger brother's jaw, not making direct contact with his skin much less the lips that Sam longed for him to. "My plan if I hadn't gotten drunk and talked myself out of it was to lose Dad and toss this ass either onto a bed or the backseat of my car and show you exactly how much I wanted you," he murmured, lifting his eyes up to watch the way Sam's hazel eyes went wider and darker at that thought. "I've wanted you so damn much, Sam. I've wanted you since before you were old enough for me to want you which is another reason I've held off for as long as I have. I wanted you to be old enough to really be able to make this choice."

Dean's fingers moved to flick the snap on Sam's jeans open, a teasing gesture since he made no move to touch the zipper yet. "I'm sorry if I've made you think I didn't want you like this, Sam. Or that I didn't know how you felt…or that I've been paying more attention to the car than you but I needed to be sure we were both on the same page…I needed you to be sure," he looked at the wide eyed teenager. "Are you sure, Sammy?" he asked, voice dropping to the low, husky tone that Sam began to realize was mainly given to him. "Is this what you want?"

"Please…please don't be kidding or messing with me, Dean," Sam muttered, wanting to believe but worried this was a huge joke until his hand was taken carefully and moved down so he could feel with a burst of shock the damp spot on Dean's jeans from the hardening cock trapped inside.

"So not messing with you this time, little brother," Dean met Sam's gaze fully, cocking his head in that way that was almost challenging. "I want you. Now tell me what you want, baby boy."

Sam groaned and took the chance that this wasn't a joke because those were the two words that only his brother was allowed to use for him and not earn a fist to the face or a bitch face. They were also rarely used unless Dean was making a point…like he seemed to be right then.

"You," Sam murmured and hoped he didn't blush too badly. "I want you, Dean."

"Good," Dean's voice suddenly dropped lower, green eyes going darker as he moved his mouth to cover Sam's in a kiss that took the younger man completely off guard.

Sam had spent a good many years spying on Dean and his dates. He'd caught him more than once making out with cheerleaders or waitresses so he'd seen him kiss before; he'd also seen him doing a bit more so he'd been expecting something similar to what he'd seen those times. He hadn't been expecting what he got.

The kiss that given, their first kiss if he would admit it to himself would always be special to him, wasn't heated or hard or demanding. No, this kiss was more like what a first kiss might be if Sam allowed himself to believe that such things were possible. It was slow, soft, almost a little hesitant as if Dean was unsure and he felt himself returning it awkwardly.

"Huh," Dean paused to lightly run the tip of his tongue over Sam's lips, while his fingers slowly undid the zipper but then moved back to up slide under Sam's t-shirt. "You taste like I always thought you would. So damn sweet, Sammy."

Sam felt his cheeks flame beet red at this but lost the ability to speak at the first touch of calloused fingers finding a hardening little nub to roll into between them, arching under the touch with a gasp that was swallowed when his brother kissed him again; deeper this time but not rough.

It never occurred to him that they were in the open or that someone else might come into this spot to find them making out. Nothing occurred to Sam except that this was Dean kissing him, that it was Dean's fingers touching him, that they were actually doing this.

Sam gasped, body arching up at the first touch of fingers slipping into his jeans to lightly rub over his still trapped but very active cock. "Dean!"

"You're also so damn sensitive," Dean's chuckle was low, throaty as his body heated in lust like he hadn't felt since his first time; not even then if he were honest with himself. "Gonna make you come so many times, Sammy," he promised, using his teeth to lightly rake over Sam's jaw and made a split second decision. "Backseat," he growled in between kisses that were heating with each one. "Want you in my car like I always imagined."

"Imagine that a lot, Dean?" Sam managed to ask before he lost his breath at the heated look he saw aimed his way and knew this was the look he'd been longing to see. "Y'know, you could've just said some…mhmm," the rest of that was cut off with a hot kiss that distracted him until he felt a hand on his head to carefully coax him into the rear seat of the car; the seat that Sam had grown up with Dean in and realized that this felt right to him.

"If I had said anything I would've tossed your ass in this car before you hit 16 and I was still trying to be the responsible one," Dean shot back as he ducked his head to follow Sam into the car, pulling his t-shirt off to smile at the low sound he heard from Sam. "Fair's fair, Sammy," he teased and managed to school his face to keep it even and not show how much it affected him to see how much his gawky little brother had grown when Sam pulled his own t-shirt off.

Sam knew he was probably blushing under the heated look he could feel watching him and wondered why he felt as awkward now as he had the first time he'd reluctantly given in last year and let some girl in between classes be his first time when he'd known it wasn't her he pictured when he climaxed.

His hands shook slightly when they went to reach for his jeans to push them down only to have strong fingers stop him. "Dean?" he frowned, worried he'd done something wrong when he moaned softly into the kiss that found his lips.

"Mine," Dean whispered against his mouth, reaching down to begin to slowly peel Sam's jeans down long legs until he finally couldn't help himself when he let out a low whistle. "Damn, Sammy…when the hell did you grow up on me?"

Sam knew he blushed with that, unable to meet his brother's eyes as he started to turn his head only to feel Dean catch his jaw, turning it back to him. "I'm…I…you're the…kiss me again?" he knew he'd embarrass them both if he wasn't shut up soon. "Fair's fair?"

"True," Dean agreed, back out only long enough to skin out of his jeans and boxer briefs and smirked at Sam's darkening look. "Of course, I won't promise either of us will last long this first time but I'll do my best to make it good for you."

"Just wanna be with you, De'n," Sam murmured, trying to move to give them both room but the back seat wasn't exactly built for two guys. "Not a girl so…"

"No, you're certainly not that…regardless of what I've said over the years," Dean grinned, fingers brushing Sam's hair out of his eyes. "Or what this long hair might suggest but there are still rules we're playing by here and that means…me trying to be patient and you giving me a chance to be."

Sam wasn't sure what that meant. He'd seen some porn so he had a fair idea to what was about to happen and he was naturally worried about the pain as well as messing up but he still frowned a little when he caught sight of the bottle in his Dean's hand. "What's that?" he asked, pushing up only to go back at the feel of fingertips on his chest. "Dean, seriously dude, you don't need to…"

"Have you ever had anything but your fingers in that ass, Sam?" Dean asked curiously, knowing his brother hadn't because he knew the one and only time Sam had even been with a girl because the little bitch had spread it all over that school about Sam; a fact that Dean took care in stopping before what was being said got back to his brother.

He'd also made damn certain to impress it upon several hotshot assholes on the football team who'd been making lewd comments to and about his brainy little brother that it would be the last thing they ever did if they touched Sam. So Dean knew this would be Sam's first time with any guy.

"Have you?" Sam countered in a way to put off his inexperience, missing the look in Dean's eyes at that question or how his brother distracted him from the answer by the deep kiss that slowly involved Sam opening his lips to allow Dean to explore his mouth.

During this kiss he felt a cool, slick finger sliding between his legs to search out and find the tight puckered hole and Sam went still, suddenly nervous but fighting not to show it.

"Look at me, Sammy," Dean's voice was low, husky; the sex is sin voice he'd worked long to perfect in his tone as he waited for Sam's eyes to find his. He could see a thin ring of hazel so he knew his brother was still enjoying this but also recognized the natural fear of too much bad porn. "Keep your eyes on me and tell me if you want to stop."

"No, don't want you to stop," Sam welcomed the kisses though as they seemed to distract him from the odd sensation of fingers slowly, too slowly, stretching him open while he slowly got distracted by the need building in his body; the way his cock was getting harder, dripping precome but also by the way Dean's seemed to be doing the same. "Umm, Dean? Can I…I mean, am I…can I touch you?"

Dean had been working on multi-tasking between kissing Sam and working his fingers slowly past tight muscles that told him that he was going to lose it the first second he slid into that tight heat because he nearly had just by Sam's muscles clamping around his fingers. He heard the question but had to think until it gelled with him then he smiled. "Yeah, you can," he nodded and prayed those innocent touches didn't send him over the cliff.

Sam had always been the kind who needed to touch, to feel, to explore on his own when he was learning. Even as a baby, his little brother had touched, tasted, and smelled nearly everything that was new to him. Being 17 didn't seem to have changed that little habit but Dean decided not to mention that right then as he talked, kissed, teased and touched until Sam was shaking under him and ready to come apart; much like Dean himself.

"Dean…please," he groaned, biting his lip until he thought it would bleed as his hips pushed down to try to get the feel of those fingers deeper in his ass when he let out a surprised sound when something lit up inside him. "Dean?!"

"Like that, Sammy?" Dean had been waiting to hit that spot to see his brother's reaction and wasn't disappointed by it. "Damn, you look so good like this. I can't wait to see and hear you when I'm inside you."

Dean had, for as long as Sam could recall, been a master of dirty talk. He'd heard him say things in school that had stunned Sam but had gotten smiles and giggles from the girls his brother made out with. Now as he heard that low, sexy voice in his ear he realized that hearing Dean's voice made him relax.

It wasn't the words as those were basically Dean's way of speaking without breaking his no chick flick moments rule while having sex but the voice Sam realized now. For him it was hearing Dean that relaxed him because he knew no matter what else that his brother would take care of him…even as he was suddenly having a hard time picturing his brother's cock fitting where it was supposed to.

"You still okay with this?" Dean had slowed the movement of his hand as he could practically read Sam's thoughts, trying not to smile. "We can stop, slow down until you're more ready. I…could suck you off or…"

"No!" Sam shook his head. "I'm…okay. Just…nervous," he admitted with a faint blush, looking away since it was a little embarrassing to admit this scared him when he was suddenly kissed softly; relaxing into the gentle touch of hands on his hips when Dean shifted to help him move in the cramped backseat.

"I'd be more worried if you weren't nervous," Dean kissed him again, wishing he could keep Sam's eyes on his but knowing this was would be easier for a first time. "Next time, the next time we do this it'll be in a bed where I can keep you looking at me cause I want to see your face when you come."

"Fuck," Sam whispered, glad his face was turned this time so his brother couldn't see him blush at that image or hear his whispered words. Then he blinked. "Next time?" he tried to look back. "There will…be a next time?"

Dean had been adjusting himself and Sam, while wondering when the hell this car got too small for them both to be in the back together as he heard that careful hope in Sam's soft question. "Uhh, yeah," he replied with a snort, pressing a kiss to the back of Sam's neck. "I said if we do this there'd be no going back. That also means this is a more than one time deal so yeah, I plan for there to be many next times, Sammy. Do you?"

"Yes," Sam turned his face to find and meet the kiss, feeling the head of Dean's cock pressing into him and he started to tense only to smile at the words whispered in his ear. "More?"

"My baby brother is going to be a bossy bottom," Dean teased while giving gentle rolls of his hips the slowly and carefully took his cock into Sam by inches until Sam was trying not to push back or forward to get some relief to his leaking cock. "Wanna come now, baby boy?" he asked softly, tongue licking over the shell of Sam's ear as he gave a final thrust that took him flush and also right up against Sam's prostate.

"Fuck! Fuck!" Sam hadn't been expecting the intensity that he felt at the first touch of Dean's cock hitting that spot inside him. The moment it happened he lost it and came without any touch to his own engorged, red, and weeping cock; white strips of come hitting his stomach and the leather of the door. "Dean!"

"I'm with you, Sammy," Dean assured him, voice tight as he fought his own need to climax just from watching Sam move in his arms, hearing words he knew his brother had no clue he was saying but that Dean would never forget.

Dean's best attempts to not come right then, to give this moment to his brother so he could help Sam through it was lost the first time he heard Sam beg him to let him feel him come, to let him share the moment with him. The tight muscles that had clamped down around him during this time finally made him loosen his control and he came with a groan, Sam's name on his lips as he struggled to keep his thrusts even but they picked up the moment his brother began to push back against him.

The next few moments were lost for both Winchesters as the car windows steamed up from the heat generated between them as flesh met flesh and soft words that neither would admit to later were exchanged until Dean caught a flash of white and was quick to grab for Sam to keep him from hitting his face on the door when the rush of this orgasm knocked him out for a brief time.

"Sam? Sammy?" he murmured quietly, hearing a soft sound that reassured him that his brother was okay and just rocked for the strength of what had just happened. Dean gave a few more shallow thrusts before he felt his own climax ebbing and then tried to get them both comfortable for a moment, resting and letting things cool down. "Love you," he whispered against Sam's ear since he knew this would be one of the few times he'd ever feel comfortable speaking those words to his brother and that if anyone needed to hear them it was Sam.

Sam stayed still, lashes fluttering over his cheeks for several long minutes but just as Dean was beginning to worry he felt movement in his arms. "Let me move first or else you're gonna land this still geeky body on the floor," he told his brother, voice huskier than normal from emotions that Dean tried to keep in but it was hard when he suddenly was confronted with sleepy, wide, and also wet eyes that tore at every instinct he had. "Sammy? What…"

"Thank you," Sam whispered, feeling the tears on his lashes and knowing he was breaking Dean's rule but too emotional after that to fight it. "Thank you for doing this, for giving me this and even if you change your mind and it doesn't happen again…I…I…"

A thumb brushed the tears away followed for soft lips. "I said we'd do it again and we will," Dean assured him, seeing and understanding Sam's concerns. "Hey, what Dad doesn't know won't hurt him," he gave a cocky smile as he carefully eased out, seeing the slight wince and knowing Sam would be sore for a day or two. "You're coming up with an excuse if you're still walking funny when we do meet up with him."

Sam grinned and began to move, to get dressed only to feel a hand on his chest as Dean wiped them both off with his own shirt before reaching into the front seat for his leather jacket to lay over them as Dean figured out a way to lay with Sam so he could hold him. "Ummm, isn't this cuddling?" he asked as he plainly recalled his 13 year old brother telling him once that under no circumstance did he cuddle.

"No, it's post sex cooling off which is totally different," Dean countered in his best gruff tone but saw Sam's smile and pressed a kiss to the top of his head. "Go to sleep, bitch," he growled.

"Jerk," Sam mumbled but did close his eyes to rest for a little bit, body relaxed and happy. "Dean? Umm, will we…I mean…will this always…umm," he stumbled when he didn't know how to ask what he wanted to without seeming too emotional or clingy.

"Mine," Dean repeated but this time the tone matched the word, telling Sam what he wanted to know and he fell to sleep with a smile on his lips.

**Present time, 2014:**

"Hey! Sam! _Sammy_!"

The deep gruff sharp voice had Sam's eyes shooting up to see deep green eyes peering in through the windshield at him; concern evident and Sam realized he'd lost himself to his memories and hadn't heard his brother calling to him.

"Umm, sorry. I must've zoned out there for a second," he coughed, shifting subtly with the hopes that he could get out of the car and out of Dean's eyesight long enough to walk off his body's obvious reaction to that memory. "Did you…did you need something?"

Dean frowned as he began to wipe fingerprints off the hood from where he'd touched it earlier and where'd been gripping it as his concern for Sam's lack of a response grew.

"Yeah, I wanted you to grab that waxing rag from the trunk along with the bottle of wax so I can buff a few spots off her hood," he finally replied, starting to come around the car when the passenger side door flew opened and Sam hurried to get out. "You okay, Sammy?" he asked as he picked up the tension in Sam's face but it was the way he moved to keep from looking directly at Dean or allowing Dean to get close that piqued the older brother's interest.

"I'm fine. I just…was thinking about something and drifted off I guess," Sam knew he needed to get that wax and the rag that way his brother would be distracted with the car and he might be able to take care of this problem without Dean ever being the wiser.

They hadn't discussed the other side of their relationship since Dean had been cured and Sam didn't want to run the risk of messing up the peace they seemed to be having right then.

He hurried to the open trunk to begin to move things so he could find what his brother wanted while also looking for something else back here when Sam suddenly frowned. "Dean?" he called in confusion. "I can't find the rag or the wax. Are you sure it's back…" he cut off when strong hands closed over his hips and warm lips smoothed along his neck, causing a shudder of lust and memory to shoot through him. "You…you set me up again, didn't you?"

"Yeah, and I love that you still fall for this trick," Dean chuckled, sliding his hand up under Sam's shirt to feel him lean back more against his chest while his other went down and felt the reason his brother was so quick to put distance between them. "Wanna tell me what you were remembering that it got you hard, little brother?" he had a hunch he knew because he'd been thinking about their first time as well. "Or should I just skip the boring parts and tell you what I'm thinking?"

"Umm, could we maybe skip talking all together?" Sam groaned at the feel of a palm rubbing over his crotch, hips thrusting into that touch before he could think not to. "Dean…"

"I've wanted you on a bed, against a wall, in the backseat of my car…hell, over the hood of my car from the second I woke up to you, Sam," Dean told him, voice deeper than it had been 14 years ago but it still caused Sam to react. "I held back until I was sure I could control the emotions and because I wasn't sure how you felt. Do you know why I picked a spot like this, Sam?"

Sam whimpered as teeth gently closed over his ear before hot lips continued a scorching path down his neck even as hands began to pull at his clothes. "You remembered," he moaned, body on fire from too many memories and not enough sex recently. "I wasn't sure you would since it's been so long and…"

"What? 14 years is suddenly too long for me to remember the first time I made love to you?" Dean's lips curved slowly as he kissed Sam's neck, his face before slowly turning his brother to face him so he could finally let their lips meet in a kiss that was as slow and loving as it had been that first day. "I remember, Sam. I remember that day just like I remember that night when I booked us in a motel with a king sized bed and we didn't leave it for three days. Did I mention that I plan to find a motel for us real soon?"

"Oh, fuck," Sam lost the ability to think at that. He gave into the arms that tugged him forward against the solid weight of Dean's chest while his own arms moved on instinct to hug back. "Dean…need to…"

"I can see what you need, baby boy," Dean teased, lips closing over the hollow of Sam's throat as he let passion and need move them both; forgetting his original plan for slow and teasing and deciding on Plan B when he realized how hard Sam really was and how on edge that made his brother. "Want me to take care of that for you, Sammy?"

Sam arched into Dean's touch again, hips now on auto pilot it seemed as he tried to speak but found his tongue tangling with Dean's in hot kisses. He lost himself in those since it was so hard for Sam to recall a time when even sex between them hadn't held an edge of tenseness.

He heard a door open, heard Dean's voice telling him to duck and then found himself on his back halfway in the Impala with his jeans and briefs already being pulled down. "Dean…" he gasped, fingers trying to find purchase in his brother's back to its usual short length and grumbling sourly only to hear a low laugh that turned his blood to lava. "Dean…please."

"I've got'cha, Sammy," Dean didn't care if he was exposed since he was still fully dressed; something his already straining cock was not happy with but this time was for Sam and he knew as he knelt in the grass where he'd parked the Impala that if someone happened to pass by his brother would still be shielded from view. "I'm gonna take care of this; then we're finding that motel and I won't complain about motel walls for once since I'll have someone to occupy my time with."

Sam shivered when he realized what was happening, trying to push up on his elbows because it was so hot for him to watch as Dean's mouth closed over his cock when he sucked him off but the first touch of those hot sinful lips touching him had him groaning with lust. "Not gonna last," he tried to warn his brother, fingers trying to find something to grab onto when he sensed more than saw Dean's one hand reach for him.

Dean had pulled something he'd located in the trunk during his cleaning spree out of his pocket so it was held in his palm when Sam's hand grabbed onto his to cling to it and the hunter knew the moment his brother felt the hard object pressing between their joined hands because Sam's breath choked off.

"You…you found it," Sam's eyes were blown wide in passion but he still tried to see what was between their palms even though he knew it by the feel of those little horns and by the knowing look when deep glittering green eyes lifted to meet his with the barest trace of a nod. "I…I know you said to leave it that day but…I couldn't. It was…" he fought for the words that barely wanted to come out past the lump in his throat as his hips still fought the need to push up while Dean's lips moved slowly up and down his slick cock.

"I heard you tell…Marie that you didn't need a symbol to say how you felt about me…and that's fine, I get that. I mean…I get that the amulet might've been weird to begin with but…oh my God!" Sam gasped out and forgot that whole train of thought when a skilled and dangerous tongue slipped out to lick over the slit in his cock even as a fingernail trailed over the nerve on the underside of his cock where Dean's mouth wasn't at the moment.

Something in those narrowed eyes was almost warning the younger man not to finish where he'd been going with the comment. "I…I kept it in the hopes that one day you'd regain your…faith in me, in us and…shit, I forgot how good you were at that, and might want it back. I…kept it when I was…soulless because…it seemed to ground me despite things and I…._fuck…_I've still held onto it hoping one day that you might mention it or seem to want it back," Sam's eyes were crossing the harder Dean sucked, the sounds coming from his brother turning him on even more than what he was feeling. "When…when you hung the one Marie gave you up I considered bringing it up but…do you…want it back, De'n?"

Dean had to admit he was impressed with Sam's ability to still be able to talk given that his brother's attention span during blowjobs had never been the sharpest. He made a note to change that the next time he did this but right then he knew Sam was at the end of his rope and so was he.

He'd heard the unspoken fear, the worry in that soft shaking voice and knew that Sam still believed too many doubts or harsh words that had been said between them these last five years and if he didn't shut him up soon every damn chick flick wall he'd put up was going to crumble so he squeezed the hand he was holding tightly to both allow Sam to feel the tiny bronzed amulet as well as the strength in his hand and saw those big eyes struggle for focus so they could meet and hold.

Only once he was certain that he had Sam's full attention did Dean allow one side of his mouth to curve in the one single smile that only Sam ever was graced to see while offering a slow, deliberate nod that he knew Sam understood when he saw the first tear fall and Dean knew he'd still be breaking that damn rule anyway.

Feeling Sam's balls tightening when he let his free hand slip up to lightly caress, Dean kept holding Sam's eyes as he pulled back until just the head remained locked between his lips to suckle it while moving his finger over Sam's stomach, tracing three words, _'I love you'_, that had a broken sob of buried emotion breaking free a second before he felt his brother's body jerk and tasted the hot sweet and salty flavor filling his mouth as Sam came with a shout of Dean's name.

"_Dean_!" Sam lost himself in the strength of the climax that rocked him hard. He's already been over emotional and strained but seeing the unspoken in Dean's eyes as they held those moments to feeling the words written with a gentle touch of a calloused fingertip and Sam was gone.

He came hard and lost himself in the rush of emotions, of need and the touch of Dean's hand gripping his still while his brother's other hand stroked his cock where it wasn't in Dean's mouth still. Sam thought he might be mumbling in Latin but he wasn't fully sure by this point; all he knew was that this was the brother he'd loved all his life and after so long of stress, lies, and pain Sam knew he would fight to keep it good between them again.

The emotions had a rush of little white dots starting to flicker in front of his eyes that a piece of Sam knew shouldn't be there but just as he was about to try to find his voice, to speak, he felt Dean pull off with a wet popping sound and then lost his breath to a heated kiss that succeeded in dragging him under when his brain finally overheated and shut down for a few moments with a whispered sigh.

Dean had seen the white in his brother's eyes after not looking away so he could watch Sam's face as he climaxed. He knew every tell his brother had and knew even now when the kid was about to get knocked on his ass so when he felt a slight tremor go through Sam that told him the touch on his couch was now too much he pulled off to claim his mouth in a heated kiss; allowing Sam to taste himself on his lips and tongue and then was quick to support him as his eyes rolled back in his head and went limp.

The smile on Sam's face was soft, pleased and totally sexed out which pleased Dean as he pulled himself up from his knees with the reminder that he was not 21 anymore but he ignored that to gently muscle Sam more into the backseat so he could sleep this off while Dean cleaned him up, changed his own jeans since that experience had made him come just from a couple well placed touches then he climbed into the car to grin that even after so many years if Sam felt him, he instinctively turned to him even in a cramped back seat.

Sam wasn't sure how long he'd slept this time but it felt longer than he normally did after sex because the sun wasn't as bright as it had been and his body felt cool, relaxed as he smelled the distinct smells of old leather, gun oil and…

"Dean?" his lashes fluttered a few times, wincing as he heard his own voice only to still at the touch of fingers carding back through his hair.

"I was starting to get worried about you," Dean's voice was low, deep, calm; the touches familiar and soothing and Sam didn't bother to try to move. He knew where he was and who he was with. "You okay, little brother?"

Sam still felt tired but he also felt relaxed and sexed-out which meant he felt fine as he finally lifted his head from where it laid on Dean's chest, eyes pausing when they caught sight of the amulet, the real amulet, hanging back from around his brother's neck. "You…you put it on?"

"Yeah, it was the only way you'd let go of it was if I slipped it on and then…well, it seems like I missed the way it feels so I left it," Dean tried to shrug away the emotions he could still feel from the moment he did slip the black cord back over his neck to allow the bronzed amulet to settle back against his chest. He saw the wetness welling up in Sam's eyes and gave up. "I fucked up when I tossed it, Sam," he admitted.

Brushing a thumb over his brother's cheek to wipe the wetness that had fallen away, Dean sighed and let his fingers begin to trace invisible sigils over Sam's bare shoulder and neck when he felt him settle back against him.

"I'd been pushed to the edge by the damn angels. We'd been pushed apart and I was too damn tired to see how I was played until it was too late," he watched as Sam's fingers began to touch the amulet like he would years ago when seeking reassurance that they were safe and good. "I've wanted it back but figured it was gone. I didn't want to hurt you again by mentioning it so I didn't. I often wondered if maybe you'd picked it up but again didn't want to bring it up if you hadn't so…I left it alone.

"After watching that play, after seeing us…you…myself through those girls eyes and a few things Marie said, when she gave me that one…well I got to thinking more about it and…I wasn't searching for it," Dean was quick to say, quick to reassure his brother that he wasn't invading his privacy. "I mean, I had seen you a few times looking through a pocket in your duffel or rolling something in your pocket but when I was looking for the wax this time, I moved your bag and it literally came falling out which was really weird but…"

Sam frowned a little, not understanding that since he always kept the amulet in a small inner pocket of his duffle. It shouldn't have fallen out but Dean also couldn't have found it if he had looked so he was a little confused at this but wouldn't complain since it was back where he felt it belonged.

"Will you…wear it?" he asked quietly, too tired and emotionally worn out to even question the battered old leather jacket that Dean hadn't worn since Sam was thought lost to two warring Archangels and the Cage. "You don't have to," he put in quickly but moaned softly into the kiss Dean placed against his lips.

"If I wasn't going to wear it I wouldn't have put it on," Dean murmured softly, feeling the warmth of the amulet through his shirt and feeling right for the first time since he'd dropped it. "You know I wish I could make everything as simple as they were back then or at the very least go back to hunting monsters that just wanted to eat us."

Sam chuckled, fingers moving to curl around the amulet as his eyes struggled to close even as he wanted them to open. "Maybe we could find a few more monster hunts and leave the angels and demons to the angels and demons," he suggested with a yawn. "We better move before I fall to sleep on you for real."

"Yeah, cause you're heavier than you were back then," Dean smirked at the bitch face he was shot but when Sam went to push up, to move he tightened his arm to keep him laying against him. "Did I say I minded?" he asked quietly when he caught Sam's eyes. "Stay Sam."

"W-what about moving on or…finding a motel?" Sam asked, voice shaking as he realized how much he'd missed these moments.

Dean knew they should move on. He knew they could find a motel with a comfortable bed but as he held Sam in the cramped backseat of the Impala he knew what he wanted. "We can do both tomorrow," he brushed a finger along Sam's cheek to see his brother's lips curl in the same smile Sam used to give him when he would do that. "I'm where I want to be tonight. I have who I want to be with period and I've missed us trying to sleep crammed in this backseat…which used to be a lot easier before you shot to Sasquatch size."

"Jerk," Sam muttered without thinking and felt his heart jump into his throat when he realized what he'd said but was even more shocked by Dean's response.

"Bitch," Dean smirked back; this time feeling right about saying it and knowing it was right when he felt Sam's arms hold onto him tighter. "Go to sleep, Sam," he urged while letting his fingers rest on the back of Sam's neck like he used to do. "You can drive tomorrow."

Sam smiled but let his head settle over Dean's heart to hear it beating strongly and like it had that first time between them it lulled him into an easy sleep while his dreams were of continued better times and that their fabled bad luck stayed away for a while.

**The End**


End file.
